ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
