glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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