and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
