We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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