I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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