me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
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