all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
