she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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