how can u be prego again
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
