yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
