Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
