I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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