Sponge bath it is.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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