What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
