And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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