Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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