The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
sick fucks of a feather flock together
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
