there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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