and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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