the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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