my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I made him laugh his dick is mine
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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