We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
ttyl tear gas
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
