At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
