im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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