You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
false alarm. still invincible.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
