you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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