So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
