so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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