you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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