I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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