....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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