break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
