Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
My pussy is not your playground.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Randomize
