Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
