I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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