So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
