she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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