Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
