My brain says no but my pants say off.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
