Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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