Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize