After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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