What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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