i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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