So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
