Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
