You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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