I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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