Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
