I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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