Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
