Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Did I show you my penis last night?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
