Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
