It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize