All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
We are two peas in an std pod
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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