i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
