The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I am never drinking with the goths again.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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