If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
