Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
babies were throwing up all over the place
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
