He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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