I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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