you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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